Misery

This is what I binge on. The Cookies n' Cream bunny I ate all today, as a B&P type thing. The cake is something that I got from my GED place, they run a foodbank there, and when they get too much of the same thing they need to throw it away or give it to someone, so they give the GED kids bags of food then. I took it home with some other things and just snuck it up to my room to have as my secret shame.

My goodness, I love to eat like a fat kid.

Don't ya'll just love my Disney Princess pillowcase? I also have a Hogwarts crest one as well.

Tomorrow I have school, which is now a reduced day, seeing as all I have to do now is just my math practice test and then take writing and math for real. Then Friday I have to go in (Even though I no longer have any classes to be done on Friday because the teacher wants me to go in to see this woman from the Art Institute come and talk.

I kinda don't want to be done, because then what the fuck else am I going to do with my time until like June? Once a week dance rehearsal. I really need a job which, when I finish my GED and get back teh results (Probably around 3 weeks), I can start applying for some actual good ones.

One thing the head woman for the modelling school said was that we need to expand our photo portfolio, and there are so many photography student on craigslist looking for models in exchange for the photos they take. My mom says that they're going to take naked photos and rape me (Seriously). I know craigslist has a lot of crazy shit going on, but the point is, one of my parents will drive me, and they definitely have to stay on set (Just like they do in profession shoots), so what's the big fucking deal?

Also, tomorrow is the day the kids are going to some grocery store to go and do a project of having ten minutes and a ten dollar budget to create a healthy meal. The head woman asked me to go, and I of course hate saying no to people, didn't disagree, but didn't agree either. I don't want to go at all because of this fact. I could care less about making a healthy meal, seeing as I either won't eat or eat anything I can get my hands on.

Then there's the fact that my mom has to babysit my niece tomorrow, as she does just about EVERY FUCKING DAY. This gets me so angry that my brother's wife pawns her kid on my mom, and by proxy myself, so she can go and work. And guess what? She only works so she can have money to spend, it's not even out of necessity. Then she and my brother complain how they have no money, yet my brother just bought a motorcycle and an electric scooter, and his wife goes out every week with her friends drinking and getting her nails done. They are also DEFINITELY on their way to becoming alcoholics, so imagine how much money they spend on booze. On top of this, they never give my mom a single cent, even though she feeds the kid. My mom also has to take out my old baby clothes (I was the only girl) and put them on the kid because my brother's wife can't even pack clothes for her for the day, then she take our toys and MY baby clothes (Whihc I want for MY kid) and doesn't give them back. She also has the nerve to say "Boohoo I can't do clutter, I can't even wash my own clothes because of all of the clutter in my basement". God, can she just admit she's a lazy little whore?

My mom wants to go see my grandma tomorrow because she's really sick and is being very much so abused by my crazy aunt who lives with her (And swe can't get her kicked out of my grandma's house, because the fucking legal system blows). The only thing is, my brother's wife is working tomorrow and can't find another babysitter (Of course she can't, because my mom is the only one who's willing to bend over backwards to do anything for her, even her sisters won't do shit unless there's something for them involved). We've also had to miss important doctors' appointments because of this bitch. If I complain about it in front of my brother he just says "Well it's not your house!", uh yes it actually is. Seeing as I'm underage I can't legally go anywhere else to live. It's not like I can just walk to the store (We live in the boonies), or even drive anywhere (I need more driving hours to go and take my driving test, but no one will practice with me). I am at the point where I am so stressed whenever I see the baby that I flip out/cry/get tension headaches because I am so tired of how this is.