Yesterday me and my mother had a super awesome conversation where we were just talking about the mental disorders in our family. It started with just her and me discussing how my father is completely histrionic and has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Then we talked about how two of my brothers have really fucked up girls and that these women are both so jealous of the fact they had a nurturing mother growing up. They are both stuck in a childish mindset because the missed out on such important nurturing times in their lives (Because their families both really sucked).
Anyways I learned a lot of things talking with her today:
My dad's mom also cheated all the time, just like his dad did (Although his dad would bring the women back home and pay my dad off to not tell).
My dad would beat up my brothers when they were young ( I always suspected this, since when I was young he would choke my oldest brother and he did smack me around a few times. Not hard enough to bruise and never anywhere visible).
Me and my mom both think that my dad and his mom had a Oedipus/Jocasta complex, and we suspect her brother (My dad's mom's) and their mom had one too.
Apparently my Grandma (Dad's mom) had a thing for men in uniform, they were her choice prey.
Dad's family has alcoholics stemming back quite a few generations, so his alcoholism is genetically inclined.
Dad also was sexually active before the age of 12.
He would also get girls drunk, take them somewhere to have sex, and then leave them. He also gangbanged girls with his friends, I wouldn't be suprised now to find out he raped girls whom he didn't have to lower their ability to consent with substances.
My mom also told me that she was 4 months pregnant with my oldest brother when they got married. I was suspicious of this when I was like 12-13 but she denied it, I'm the first one of her kids that she's flat out told. She had to get married to my dad because it was either get married to him or move back with her parents, which would have been like Flowers in The Attic (We both thought this and said it at the same time).
Her parents were also very uncontrollably violent.
I finally mentioned about how I think my brothers resent me because of the fact dad mellowed out for me, did stuff with me, bought me stuff, spoiled me, etc.. And there's the fact that when I was little my two oldest brothers were my father figures. My dad was just unconnected and everything was about him, he never dealt with us, unless it was to yell and hit. So my brothers definitely helped raise me. I think they hate that I took away some of their time to be kids and that now at the age they were when they were raising me, I have lots of things they don't.
Well that was quite a lot of things to digest, but I think this has ultimately brought me and my mom closer.
In other news, my dad hasn't told my mom I took the pills, he's just pretending it hasn't happened, but the pills are hidden. I walked in his room the other day and saw he had a lock box filled with bottles and he was taking out some. He is very much so a hypochondriac, but even more so he has a VERY VERY addictive personality, and drugs himself up often. It's such a double standard, that I can't have drugs (My parents regulate them for me when they are prescribed), yet they can make up shit, get pills, and GIVE them to eachotehr and other people (Like when my mom will offer a ritalin to my sister in law because she can't focus).
I am also the proud owner of a 122.8lbs weight. Yes, I'm still disgustingly fat, but atleast I'm losing.
It's scary the things that parents do to their kids. :/ But it's good you got to bond with your mom. So many of us who had less-than-awesome childhoods can end up resenting our parents, or having bad relationships with them, but I think it's good to try and stay close to them if you can.
ReplyDeleteAnd hey you can always write a tell-all book about your fam and disguise it as fiction. ;D Would probably make for an awesome read. I know my family would...
xoxo