Law and Order

It's really been really weird these past few weeks, I can't throw up... It's like I'll binge to my heart's content and I'll go to the bathroom and I just can't. I feel like my body and mind are betraying me.

I AM SO FAT.

I've also been eating and just not worrying about my weight, and getting neutral about food in my stomach, but then all I can think about is the feeling of food in them, stretching and coursing calories through my body. It's disgusting.

But my friend, let's call her Crystal, traded somw candy with me. I now own Vyvanse. I took it at school on friday and it was CA-RAZY! I was bouncing in my seat abd taking notes like a pro. Then when I got home I cleaned my room none stop from 4pm till 1am. I didn't eat anything that day besides a piece of cake thet I had to during social studies (It was so grossly sugar-filled, I luckily threw out a lot of the icing. At least I cleaned off quite a few calories (About 2000!), but the next day I was SO SORE.

Also yesterday I bought some XTC from Crystal... It wasn't that great because I like uppers and it was a molly laced with heroin.

And now my favorite brother (Who's in the airforce) says that I can come live with him for a few weeks this summer, it is so fucking hot there (Think of a state with a desert). And I have a skin sensitivity so I burn really bad in the sun, but with him it's all about going to the gym and he'll be out during the day at work so I can do whatever. Also he has parties all the time and he's really lax and will let me have a bit to drink (Then he has sooooooo much alcohol so I can just sneak more).

I hate that I can't throw up anymore, but I still have 5 Vyvanse to keep me from eating and to burn off that fat! I believe I'm still in the high 120's because of how my leggings fit. It's okay though I can do it!