21st Century Cure

I love before and after photos, those are my favorite pro-ana things.

Anyways, I woke up with a horrible backache, which meant:

A) My period will show soon, or

B) I totally have to change my underwear because it looks like a battlefield.

Well it was B, so then I went downstairs to get a tampon, lo' and behold! It's been quite a few days since I've weighed in.

... I was so fucking scared because I thought I'd be retaining water and weigh so much.

120.6lbs.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Um, hello?! Elated is the first thing that comes to mind. I haven't been this light since before October, when I got admitted I even stayed at this weight the whole week (Pretty amazing considering that I was eating 3 square meals a day and not exercising).

Even still I went and binged a bit, purged after. I would have not fasted but Saturday we are going to see Jesus Christ Superstar and I lose energy in the second day of fasting and I want to fast for as long as possible Saturday, because we always go out to eat when we see things in the city.

And right before I went to sleep yesterday I was feeling so depressed, I wanted to cut so so so bad, but it was the kind of depressed where you just feel like laying in bed catatonically and watch Law and Order: SVU marathons. I did keep alternating between my nails and teeth hurting my lip. Now it's a bit swollen and very obvious.