OHMYFUCKINGOD.
I hate the fact that I can smell anything that people cook from my room. I have no clue as to what it is but it smells like home fries perhaps? All I know is I weighed myself at around 3am and I was 122.6lbs, and I am so damn hungry from fasting, AND DON'T EAT.
122.6
Don't eat.
122.6
Don't binge.
And of course some kind of meat must be cooking as well, seeing as how my dad is home and always fucking needs meat. But NOOOO he doesn't want anything processed.. Then he shouldn't fucking eat cheese and cookies. And while I'm on this subject, he always need to talk about how he needs to lose weight or ask if we notice how "thin he is". Just last week he was saying how the family needs to go on a diet, now if there is one thing I hate hearing it is my parents saying "We all need to diet". I'M NOT THE ONE WITH AN OBESE BMI, I ACTUALLY HAVE MINE IN A NORMAL RANGE. It makes me get so fucking defensive, because they NEVER do anything about it (Like stop buying shitty binge foods, or my mom who eating all through the day "grazing", which is supposed to be BAD for your health). What makes me mad is they never follow through with these diets, just mention them once, piss me off, and forget about them. Then they go back to their disgustingly greasy bags of potato chips.
I go through phases where I can accept my curves, and even like them to a certain degree, but then they just have to get me down about them. I'm always thinking about my weight in the back of my head, but the feminist in me allows me to deal with my body.
Now do you girls see why I never have the motivation to follow through with things? More importantly, why I have an eating disorder?
Mum is the same, always talking about how she needs to diet and lose weight, and then 2 seconds later she's eating ice cream and peanut butter both right out of the tub. Drives me nuts!!
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