Why do the holidays make us fat? I always just get so caught up with them that I don't have any time to throw up and then I'm so tired.

Fuckin' Easter.

That's where it all went wrong. Luckily now though I have been staying up all night and sleeping all day, which is realy the best thing in the world. I always eat too much during the day because my mom pressures me to it. Now it's more like I sleep till 9pm (Or just stay in my room and pretend to) and come down and eat. Then I just wait till mom goes to sleep so I can stop being paranoid and throw up.

At the moment I am 127.2 lbs, I feel very shitty by that, that it took this long to lose whatever it was. I was too afraid to weigh myself.

Tomorrow is huge, my old russian teacher asked me to help her with this fashion show fundraiser for breast cancer. It's just the rehearsal and all I do is run the little best wishes cards to the "models". So hopefully there's some thinspo there, and not a lot of fat chicks.

She's one of those people who I really want to present myself for. Like I want her to be proud, just like what I'd try to do with my old dance teacher.

So what should I wear? I'm totally stressing about what to wear for the rehearsal and the actual night. I know I should be more casual than most of the people there, since i'm only going to be behind the scenes really.
This is what I was thinking for the show:
Dark wash green skinny jeans (The only skinny jeans that I've ever looked nice-ish in)
Black tank top
My blue converse or my white and black Ozzy converse
Pretty gypsy necklace I made
And some bracelets

That's my pretty outfit that isn't slutty like my other clothes. But I am not sure at all what to wear for rehearsal.

My fashion sense has been changing recently. Since 5th grade I've went from Goth/Punk>Punk>Cyndi Lauper-esque>Whatever I felt like>Gypsy-esque with a touch of glam. My newest one is more of that chick from Gossip Girls (I've never seen it or read it but I found an article about how she dresses and I LOVE IT).

Also it's pretty hot here, for being New England, I'm surprised. And guess who just happened to have a depression spell and cut themselves... so I'm really gonna pile on the bracelets.

So now I gotta work out as much as possible for tomorrow and for the 11th. BUt now I've been feeling very sick the past 2 days whenever I eat and just before I fall asleep, so that's gonna help.