Just Breathe

WORST. DAY. EVER.
Let me give a bit of the back story, yesterday I didn't go to school because I had a sore throat and I went to the doctor's. Then I go on to the computer to find out that there was a drug search. LEMME SAY, GOOD THING I DIDN'T GO IN. So, I find out 3 kids got busted, 1 was expelled and 2 just got suspended.

Today was fucked. During first period they came and brought me to the principal's office to search my bag and my jacket and sweatshirt (Which they took off of me, luckily I managed to get my arm to my side so they wouldn't see. They couldn't find anything, of course.

Later on, they called me in again and had the truant officer talk to me, to scare me I believe since they couldn't prove anything. When my mom picks me up from school she says that they told her:

-A few people have told the principal they're concerned, and the principal believes it's true because the people that told her were my friends. Although I don't have any and the only people I can think of (Stuck-Up) who are friends with a lot of other druggies. So I can only assume that they just want to get me in trouble.

-They told my parents that I had a wrapped package in my bag, my mother supplied that it must be Halls (Because of my sore throat), they agreed. It was a GUM PACK that I didn't open. But what I don't understand is that they doon't even know what it was but they just were looking for a way to get me in trouble.

Those were the main points... I'm just surprised with how hard they pursued it when all they have is verbal hearsay and, it just seems liek alll they want to do is get me caught. To get me expelled or something. Like What did I do to them?

Now my weight... Ugh I don't even want to list it, but it's around 125lbs. I am such a fucking fat ass, I feel so gross.

Law and Order

It's really been really weird these past few weeks, I can't throw up... It's like I'll binge to my heart's content and I'll go to the bathroom and I just can't. I feel like my body and mind are betraying me.

I AM SO FAT.

I've also been eating and just not worrying about my weight, and getting neutral about food in my stomach, but then all I can think about is the feeling of food in them, stretching and coursing calories through my body. It's disgusting.

But my friend, let's call her Crystal, traded somw candy with me. I now own Vyvanse. I took it at school on friday and it was CA-RAZY! I was bouncing in my seat abd taking notes like a pro. Then when I got home I cleaned my room none stop from 4pm till 1am. I didn't eat anything that day besides a piece of cake thet I had to during social studies (It was so grossly sugar-filled, I luckily threw out a lot of the icing. At least I cleaned off quite a few calories (About 2000!), but the next day I was SO SORE.

Also yesterday I bought some XTC from Crystal... It wasn't that great because I like uppers and it was a molly laced with heroin.

And now my favorite brother (Who's in the airforce) says that I can come live with him for a few weeks this summer, it is so fucking hot there (Think of a state with a desert). And I have a skin sensitivity so I burn really bad in the sun, but with him it's all about going to the gym and he'll be out during the day at work so I can do whatever. Also he has parties all the time and he's really lax and will let me have a bit to drink (Then he has sooooooo much alcohol so I can just sneak more).

I hate that I can't throw up anymore, but I still have 5 Vyvanse to keep me from eating and to burn off that fat! I believe I'm still in the high 120's because of how my leggings fit. It's okay though I can do it!